Masked - Hardcover

by Johnnie Mae Boutwell (Author)

I'm what's called high masking, meaning I'm very good at hiding my autistic traits. Once I knew what masking was, once I began to learn how to recognize my own mask and to see all the ways that I was pretending, I realized so many of these poems are a reflection of the pain and turmoil that result from heavy masking. I want to honor this part of myself. This past version of me who was trapped, raging against the mask she did not know was there, stifled beneath the pressure to perform for society the role she was assigned. This volume is an eclectic collection of prose, traditional poetry, and stream-of-conscious realizations. In keeping with the unmoored chaos that was my mental state, which, in retrospect, was indicative of my unrealized self, held captive by an alien society, you will find that the themes present in this volume range wildly and without order. From vicious self-abasement to whimsical fancy and all that lies in between. As an autistic individual, I often struggle to both understand and communicate my own emotional state. Consequently, my poetry is largely experimental, raw, and often off the cuff.